How to Write a Memorial
A Step-by-Step Guide to Writing a Meaningful Tribute
Writing about someone you loved and lost is hard, not because you do not know what to say, but because there is too much to say and no clear place to start. This guide walks through the actual process of writing a memorial, step by step — how to begin, how to structure it, and what to do when the words will not come.
Step by Step
There is no single right way to write a memorial, but this order tends to make the process easier:
Gather your material first
Before you write a single sentence, collect what you already have — photos, old texts, voicemails, cards, and memories from other family members. You likely have more to work with than it feels like right now.
Start with one memory, not a summary
Do not try to open with a sentence that captures their whole life — that is the hardest possible way to start. Instead, begin with one specific, vivid memory: something they said often, a small habit, a moment you shared.
Write it the way you would tell a friend
Write in plain, conversational language — the way you would actually describe this person to someone who never met them. Formal or overly formal language tends to flatten personality rather than capture it.
Cover who they were, not just what they did
Job titles and accomplishments matter, but a memorial that only lists them misses the person. Include their personality, their relationships, their sense of humor, and the small details that made them recognizably themselves.
Write a full draft before editing
Get the whole thing down first, even if parts feel rough or repetitive. Editing while you write tends to slow you down and can make an already difficult task feel harder than it needs to be.
Step away, then revise
If you can, set the draft aside for a day before revising. Coming back with fresh eyes makes it much easier to see what is missing, what feels repetitive, and what actually captures them best.
Read it aloud before finishing
Reading the memorial out loud — even just to yourself — reveals what sounds honest and what sounds stiff or overwritten. Sentences that feel fine on the page often sound wrong once spoken.
When You Get Stuck
Write to one specific person
If you are staring at a blank page, try writing as if you are explaining this person to one specific friend or relative who never met them, rather than to a general audience. It is much easier to write to one person than to "everyone."
Start in the middle
You do not have to write in order. If a particular memory or period of their life is easier to write about, start there and build outward instead of forcing yourself through the beginning first.
Let it be unfinished for a while
An online memorial does not need to be complete on day one. Start with what you have, publish it, and keep adding — a memorial can grow over time as more memories come back to you or as others contribute their own.
Borrow their own words
If you are struggling to describe them, a favorite saying, a text message, or something they always said can often do more work than a paragraph you write yourself.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do I start writing a memorial?
Start with one specific memory rather than trying to summarize their whole life in the first sentence. A single vivid moment — something they said, a habit, a shared experience — is easier to write and more powerful to read than a formal opening line.
How long should a memorial be?
There is no required length. Some memorials are a few honest paragraphs, others are several pages. Length matters far less than whether it captures who the person actually was.
What if I am not a good writer?
Write it the way you would tell a close friend about this person, in plain, conversational language. A memorial does not need polished prose — honesty and specific detail matter far more than style.
What if I get stuck partway through?
Step away and come back to it. Writing a rough draft in one sitting without editing, then revising later with fresh eyes, is often easier than trying to write a perfect version on the first attempt.
Should I ask other people to help write it?
Yes, if possible. Other family members and friends often remember details, stories, or qualities you might not think to include, and a memorial written with multiple perspectives is often richer than one written alone.
Ready to Start Writing?
Create a free memorial page and write their story in your own words — you can save your progress and keep adding to it over time.
Get Started